Lenalovescakes

What is life anyway?

Life sucks. That’s a fact. To quote Dr House ” I’m fine, I’m just not happy”. Sometimes I ask myself what I’m doing here anyway. Wasting my time probably. Sometimes I just wanna sit in my room and listen to my music. Not my friend’s music, my music. Sometimes I just wanna go. I wanna get up at 2 o’clock in the night, go to the station and drive somewhere where it’s better. I wanna fly away. To England, just somewhere else.
If I like my life? Sometimes I do, but most of the time I don’t. I got great friends, but sometimes I just guess they’re just the wrong for me. Why should I sit in my room, in my house, in my town and learns maths. Why? If  could be somewhere else, doing something else, something I like. Why can’t I just go away? Because there are too many things which hold and keep me here although they don’t. After school? I’m gonna go away. Dunno where. Somewhere I’d like to be. Somewhere where real things keep me. Somewhere where I can be finally happy. And I’m talking about really happy. Find some people to be happy with. Because I have the stupid feeling that some people don’t care. I mean when was the last time I really talked to someone? March 2010?! I miss some people and some people I don’t. Things change. I changed, life’s gonna change, at least I hope so. Because there’s really no thing that could keep me here, I wanna go. Go away. Live my life and finally be happy. What’s “Project Life”, “Project: Places to travel & go to” and “Things I want to do in 2012″ if I can’t keep up with them. If they are just an excuse for me to go somewhere else and the plan to live the life I want to live here instead of the place I’d actually be happy. I guess I never had the feeling and the wish more than now to go away and live the life I want to live. Because seriously I really have the feeling that I can’t do it here, that I’m at the wrong place. Maybe with the right people but just at the wrong time and the wrong place. I hope i can finally be happy when all this stuff is over. When I finished school and i can do what i want.
I hope I’ll get that chance.
I really hope so.

Like House said “I’m fine, just not happy”

-Lena

Life can really suck sometimes. That’s exactly what it’s doing right now. Hadn’t had really much time recently to write something because all this fugging stress starts again. Yiha. But watching Grey’s Anatomy kinda consoles me. Which is what I’m gonna do right now ;))

-Lena

Writing kinda became a part of me, of my blog. I never really liked it to be honest. In school?! Oh no, not at all. In German? Help!!! I’m really unable to write a serious text in German. I’m not good at it at all. Grammar? Spelling? I hate that so much! But in English? I’m perfectly fine with that. I prefer writing about things I’m interested in of course but it’s also fine in school although it’s not as fun. I really enjoy writing my blogs and thinking about good and inspiring things I could write about but I gotta say I forget most of them. I forget a lot.

-Lena

It’s weird how things can change in life. It probably all started with painting my room. I think that kinda changed things although I dunno how that should have happen but it did. A lot of things changed during the last two weeks. And I’m luckily not talking about negative things.

Can something like painting a room change your life? No. I guess not. But I think that it could be something like a sign. Painting your room equals getting your life a new perspective. Some new colours. Positive colours. Maybe it symbols the start of something new, of something better.
I guess we’ll see what’s gonna happen. At least till now I can say that I like it. i really like my new room.
Maybe Project Life is gonna come true after all.

-Lena

P.S. So much to the new good things, got myself a cystitis. Duh.

So about a few weeks ago I’ve seen “The Hunger Games”. I’ve actually been a really big fan of the books (although I’ve got to admit that I haven’t read the third book yet) and I’ve always been fascinated by the world the author creates and the people and situations and surroundings which come alive while you’re reading. The Hunger Games is probably one of the best books I’ve read so far and I think I’m not exaggerating by saying that. Sometimes I read a book and I may think that it’s bad, okay or quite good. I prefer the last case to be honest. When I read really really good books there normally has to be something really fascinating, something which makes me say “wow”. When that happens there is normally another question in my head. “How can somebody think of such a crazy story?! How can somebody be so creative or inspired that something like that comes to somebody’s mind?!”. I’ve heard that Stephanie Mayer, the Twilight author, dreamt of the story. But okay that’s about a Vampire who falls in love with a human. We all know Dracula. But the Hunger Games?! How can you think in a time of ours about such a world? That everbody has to starve and fight for food. I mean, sure it’s probably no rubbish at all that we won’t have enough food in the future. But I just couldn’t think of how this’ gonna look like in a few I dunno hundred (?) years. I really admire Suzanne Collins for her creativity and imagination. The books are excellent no doubt about that. It’s a book which you might title as fantasy but is it really fantasy? Can’t that just happen to us all in a few hundred (?!) years?! So it might or might be not a fantasy book.
Though I started talking about the movie in the beginning. Normally you expect the movies to be much worse like Harry Potter or Eragon. But I gotta say I really liked the movie. I mean sure there are always things you can critizice i.e. I kinda had the feeling that you wouldn’t have understood some details like the fake relationship between Katniss and Peeta which they had to pretend to stay alive and to get some gifts or the close relationship between Rue and Katniss. I guess I wouldn’t have understood why it was so fugging sad when she died. Still I think you can’t put every detail from the book into the movie. Otherwise the movie would take about three hours or even more and it already was a very long movie.

So guys go watch The Hunger Games if you haven’t already. The money is definitely worth it.

-Lena

Sometimes the people you think you need aren’t there. Then you find someone else and discover that (s)he’s just what you needed.

Sometimes you expect people to be more but they aren’t. Sometimes you expect people to be less but in the end they are more.

-Lena

I made a lot of plans for the break… But making plans isn’t that good always… For example if you make too much plans. Planning things is my thing but I just think I kinda overplanned myself. Though I had some really good days this week. I met some friends I know from england. That kinda reminded me of the good time I had in England. I kinda wanted to go back. But I guess that that’s gonna happen soon. After my Abi I really wanna go to England once again. Maybe as an au-pair in London. But I think I would also like to go to Brighton or York once again? There’s still a bit time till I have to make decisions… But not too much… Lucky me :)

-Lena